Heartfelt Hospitality - Vayeira 5787

When was the last time you had guests?  Inviting guests is a very nice thing, but for us Jews it’s baked into our DNA.  Avraham is called “Avinu” - our father, because we inherited his character traits and his blessings.  (Also the Holy Land, and that, as an aside, is the one undeniable claim we have to Israel that cannot be disputed. Hashem gave the land to Avraham, and to his descendants through Yitzchak and Yaakov.)

Avraham personified kindness, and one of his and Sarah’s great legacies is Hachanassat Orchim - welcoming guests.  We see the extent of his devotion to that Mitzvah at the beginning of this week’s Parsha.  Avraham had circumcised himself at age 99.  Not an easy surgery.  It was the third day after the Bris, when, our sages teach, the pain is at its worst.  

Now Avraham and Sarah had set up a tent in the desert to welcome bypassers, and it had openings on all four sides.  This was so that anyone coming from any direction would see that they are welcome.  They had planted a large shade tree, and offered all kinds of delicacies not found in the desert.  They welcomed even those who were so base that they worshipped the dust on their feet, and they taught them about the one G-d.

On this third day after the Bris, when Avraham was suffering physically, Hashem wanted to give him a rest, so He made it a very hot day, to deter travelers.  Rashi says that Hashem “took the sun out of its sheath” so as not to trouble him with wayfarers.  But Avraham was really upset that he could not offer kindness to strangers, so Hashem sent the three angels to visit him.

We can take Avraham’s incredible observance of this Mitzvah a step further.  “Hashem appeared to Avraham,” the verse states.  He “came and inquired about his welfare,” the Talmud says, because Avraham was hurting from the circumcision, and it is a Mitzvah to visit the sick.  Avraham sees three men approaching (he thought they were ordinary men) and, according to one interpretation,  asks Hashem to wait and not leave while he goes and invites them in.

This is truly remarkable!  First of all that he even noticed anyone while Hashem is speaking to him is, especially for a man on the spiritual level of Avraham, highly unusual. And to have what would seem as Chutzpah to ask Hashem to wait while he attends to mere mortals is shocking.  

From this story we derive two major lessons.  One is that welcoming guests is even greater than receiving Hashem’s presence. The other is the attention that we need to give to our guests - to notice them and their needs no matter how involved we may be in holy pursuits.

This also explains why the Talmud says that accompanying our guests as they leave is the most important part of hospitality.  How can that be more important than providing food and shelter?  The Rebbe explains that food and shelter are necessities, and providing those to the guest is not optional.  A guest might feel, therefore, that the host may be doing it reluctantly, and if the host just has the guest let themselves out, they are sending the message that they are happy to be relieved of the burden.  However when they accompany the guest as they leave and show friendship and graciousness, this shows that they were indeed happy to provide the hospitality.  This moment when the guest leaves and the way the host sees them off, therefore, can transform the entire experience.

This Mitzvah is not just something that is a nice idea, it is part of the fabric of Judaism.  If someone needs a meal or a place to stay, it is a Mitzvah to provide it for them with a smile.  If someone is not familiar with Shabbat and the beauty of a Shabbat dinner, it is a huge Mitzvah to invite them to join, making sure that the food is Kosher and Shabbat is observed properly.

If you are part of a community, when a stranger walks in, make sure to welcome them warmly and make them feel comfortable.  Don’t wait for someone else to do it.  I think that Avraham’s lesson to us in this particular area is that if someone is engrossed in prayer and someone comes in who is not familiar with the synagogue or the service, we should take a break from our own devotion and make sure that they are welcomed properly.

When my father passed away in England, I went and sat Shiva there.  Hundreds of people visited us over the week.  Many of them, really a large number, told me that when they walked into Shul the first time, my father was the first to immediately get up and welcome them.

Hashem provides us with a house and food and amenities, and it is not just for our own use.  A very important purpose of our home is to welcome others, especially the materially or spiritually needy.  Rambam talks about the Mitzvah of joy on major holidays, and says that it is important to invite those less fortunate to the meals.  Otherwise, he says, it is the joy of our stomach, not the joy of the Mitzvah.

In addition to personally inviting guests, you can partner with community events that welcome others, like community dinners.  Or to participate in a community house that welcomes guests, like the Beit Refael house in Palo Alto for medical visitors.  However you observe this Mitzvah, you are not just being extra kind.  You are behaving the way our forefathers and mothers did, and living up to our thousands year old tradition.  There is nothing as satisfying as reaching out and helping those in need.