Mazal Tov, So Much More - Vayikra 5786

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I am writing these lines at 35,000 feet on my return trip from Detroit, where we celebrated the wedding of my youngest son Yisroel to Gittel Stein. The Talmud (Kiddushin 29a) lists the obligations a father has to his son and vice versa. Along with circumcising and redeeming him (by giving the Kohen five shekels in a ceremony known as “pidyon haben”), teaching him a trade and, according to some, teaching him how to swim, there is an obligation to “marry him to a wife.” 


We are filled with tremendous gratitude to Hashem that Dena and I have had the great merit to see all our children married. 


As we return home from the beautiful celebration, I am reflecting on this obligation and why it is so prominent in a parent’s set of priorities. Although marriage has seemingly lost some of its importance to many in our society, it is not optional, just like circumcision at eight days, redemption at 30 days, having a means to make a living and the ability to save our lives from drowning. 


Marriage is the fulfillment of the very first Mitzvah in the Torah: be fruitful and multiply. Of course in Hashem’s path, that is not possible without marriage.  The prophet Yeshayahu (Isaiah) said (Yeshayahu 45:18): “For so said the L-rd, the Creator of Heaven, Who is G-d, Who formed the earth and made it, He established it; He did not create it for a waste, He formed it to be inhabited.”  This is a general directive for all individuals to fulfill Hashem’s purpose to populate the world.  


There is also a great impact on the entire structure of creation when a couple marries.  The ability to create life is exclusively Hashem’s, and He has given that power to living beings on Earth to carry this out.  In other words, when a couple marries and has a child, they are revealing the power of “ein sof,” the infinite light of Hashem, on Earth. And this is the ultimate purpose of Creation, to make the world a home for Hashem by revealing His infinite light within the finite world.


To add a final thought: Chassidus and Kabbalah explain that the entire creation is made up of male and female. It’s too much to go into in depth here, but basically the make up of the spiritual worlds are male and female, and even the Divine energy throughout the worlds is male and female.  Hashem’s Presence in this world is called the Shechina, a female word, and the original source of all Divine energy is male.  (That is why we say Baruch Ata in the prayers, which is male, because we are referring to the original source of all energy.) The “Yichud” - unification of the male and female aspects of the spiritual worlds is what creates spiritual life, as well as this physical world.  So a marriage mirrors and evokes the entire process of  creation.


This is related to our Parsha, Vayikra, which talks about the offerings brought in the Holy Temple.  A physical animal, or physical flour, was offered on the Altar, and a heavenly fire would consume it, representing the unification of the physical and the spiritual.  The many miracles that we witnessed at the time of the offering of the sacrifices further revealed this unity.


This is a message to newlyweds and to all people who create a Jewish home together.  A marriage is much more than a contract or arrangement between two people.  It is more than commitment and love for each other, and it is more than the day to day things we do together and for each other.  It is an expression of the very essence of creation, a fulfillment of its purpose, and a partnership with Hashem in bringing His Presence into the world.


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