A Shoulder to Cry on.

This Friday is the fast of the tenth of Tevet.  This is the only fast that can occur on a Friday, and it happens rarely. Fasting is generally forbidden on Shabbat, except for Yom Kippur, and we should not go into Shabbat fasting either.  If a fast day like the 17th of Tammuz or Tisha B’Av falls on Shabbat, the observance of the day is postponed to Sunday. 

If the Fast of Esther falls on a Shabbat, however, we can’t postpone it to Sunday because that would push off Purim, so the fast is held earlier instead. But it is held on Thursday, not Friday, in order that we should not fast even for the first few minutes of Shabbat. 

Nevertheless on the Tenth of Tevet we do fast on Friday and we go into Shabbat fasting. One reason given is because this fast commemorates the day that the Jewish people lost our independence, and many exiles and tragedies followed. 

The tenth of Tevet is the day that the Babylonians, led by the evil Nebuchadnezzar, laid siege to the city of Jerusalem, followed by the destruction of the first Temple. There is an interesting connection to the story of Yosef and His brothers that we read in this week’s Parsha.  

After Yosef revealed himself to his brothers, Yosef “fell on his brother Binyamin’s neck and cried, and Binyamin cried on his neck.”  Our Sages teach that their cries were not just expressions of emotion, but actually prophetic. Yosef cried because he foresaw the destruction of the first and second holy Temples which would stand  in the tribal territory of Binyamin, and Binyamin cried because of the Sanctuary that would be destroyed in Yosef’s territory, Shiloh. 

The way this is worded is a little funny. Yosef cried for Binyamin and Binyamin cried for Yosef?  Why wouldn’t they each cry for their own future loss?  

The Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches a powerful lesson from the precise words of our Sages.  When we see someone suffering, we must be empathetic and supportive. We feel their pain and cry for them.   But when it comes to our own challenges, the solution is not to cry. We need to act. 

Now I understand that when we face something painful we may cry in pain, but that is not where it ends. In fact sometimes a “good cry” has the opposite effect because afterwards we don’t feel motivated to solve the problem. 

When Yosef and Binyamin saw that their Temples would be destroyed, they focused on what they could do to try to pre-empt the problem, by educating their children, immersing in prayer and taking other practical steps to spiritually fortify themselves and their descendants. But it was appropriate for each to cry for his brother, as they felt compassion for each other.  

Over the past couple of months I have been talking to many people about spiritual growth in tough times. Many Jews were brutally murdered, wounded and tortured, captured and treated in unimaginable inhumane ways by people who don’t deserve to be called people. We cry, we mourn, we pray for them and their families, and we do all we can to combat the brutal antisemitism of the world that supports it. 

But we also take action to build and strengthen the Jewish people and our future, and not let the terrorists win. 

Shortly after the State of Israel was established and the Chabad village of Kfar Chabad was founded, terrorists murdered five students at the Chabad vocational school.  The community was devastated. These were refugees from the Holocaust and the Soviet Union who now felt that their new home and their dreams of a peaceful future were shattered. They thought it was all over. The Rebbe sent Rabbis as personal emissaries to comfort them. And he penned a three word message: Behemshech habinyan tenuchamu –You will be comforted by continuing to build. 

Throughout our history we have recognized the need to build and grow despite our enemies. And this is why we have thrived, and will continue to thrive, because we will not be stopped and we will always continue to build.