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A Sincere Kiss?

It was a very moving and beautiful moment.  Two brothers who had been estranged for a long time meet after 35 years.  There was great tension and fear in anticipation of this meeting.  Yaakov had hoped that Esav had forgiven him for “stealing” the blessings, which were actually rightfully Yaakov’s, and had sent him messengers of peace.  He was warned that Esav was coming toward him with 400 warriors to fight. Yaakov prepared himself in many ways, dividing the camp, praying and sending lavish gifts to appease Esav.  As the Torah says, Yaakiv was afraid and distressed - afraid that he might be killed and distressed that he might be forced to kill.  Because even though it would be in self-defense and he should be fully justified, Jewish nature is such that we are distressed when we have to kill our enemies. This all followed on the heels of Yaakov’s fight with Esav’s guardian angel, from which he emerged with a wound in his sciatic nerve.  We can imagine ...

Thank you, now give me more - Vayetzei 5785

A woman has been married for many years and not been able to have children.  For many decades she has suffered, seeing all her friends with many children and yearning for a child of her own.  Finally the miracle happens and she becomes pregnant and gives birth to a healthy boy.  You can imagine her intense joy and happiness, and she expresses that in the name she gives her son.... Give me another one? This seems to be exactly what our mother Rachel did.  After many years watching her sister Leah give birth to seven children and the house maidservants have two each, she finally has a son, and she names him Yosef, which means “he will add.”   The Torah clearly states her intent - “Yosef Hashem li ben acher,” typically translated as “May Hashem add for me another son.”  While of course there can be many explanations for this, like perhaps that she was excited about her ability now to have children and was praying to be able to augment her part as a mother...

He Was Not Entitled - Toldot

Dedicated to the memory of the holy martyr Rabbi Zvi Kogan, may Hashem avenge his blood.  Esav was an unsavory character in many ways.  In contrast to his holy brother Yaakov, he was a murderer, a rapist, and a lot more.  A word that came to my mind recently to describe him in modern terms is “entitled.”  He was the epitome of entitlement.   There are many Midrashic and mystical explanations for why the whole story with the blessings happened as it did, why Yitzchak favored Esav and why Yaakov had to trick his father to “steal” the blessings from his brother, but let’s look at the narrative on a simple level.   Yitzchak was planning to give the greatest blessings ever bestowed on anyone to his firstborn son, in order for him to use those blessings to improve the world.  Esav had tricked his father into believing that he at least had some righteous tendencies or potential.  He showed tremendous respect and deference to his father.  A...

A Match Made in Heaven - on Earth. Chayei Sarah 5785

There is a general principle in giving according to Torah that while we should be generous, we should not give everything away.  Rambam (Mishneh Torah Arachim 8:13) writes:  “A person should never consecrate all of his property or designate it as a dedication offering. A person who does so violates the Torah 's guidance, as [ Leviticus 27:28 ] says [of a person designating a dedication offering] "from all that is his." [Implied is that he should not give] "all that is his," as our Sages explained.  This is not piety, but foolishness, for he will lose all his money and become dependent on others.” It is therefore a little hard to understand why Avraham didn’t follow this teaching. His son Yitzchak was not allowed to leave the Holy Land.  He had been offered as a sacrifice, and therefore needed to remain within the boundaries of what would later become Israel.  Avraham wanted to find him a wife.  The local Canaanites were corrupt and Avraham wanted to assist ...

True Caring - Vayeira 5785

  Empathy.  It is a powerful emotion that can change another person’s life.  Empathy means to really “get” the other person. To understand and feel what they are going through and their needs.  Empathy begins with noticing the other and their state of mind. Modern psychology places a tremendous emphasis on empathy.  There are many books and podcasts and lectures dealing with this subject, and the Torah taught us this over 3,300 years ago.  In the Parsha this week we find a demonstration of empathy by no less than the first father of the Jewish people, Avraham. The Parsha opens with Hashem appearing to Avraham.  As our Sages explain the story, Avraham was in pain after having circumcised himself three days earlier at age 99.  Hashem, Who observes His own Mitzvot, came to visit the sick.  Then Avraham looks up and sees three men.  “He saw and behold three men were standing before him, and he saw and he ran towards them from the entranc...

Leading with Jewish Values - Lech Lecha 5785

Abraham is the first of our three forefathers. He is, then, the father of the Jewish Nation and its founder. Yet he is referred to in the Torah as the “father of a multitude of nations.” Adam and Noach are universal leaders. Adam is the father of all humankind, as is Noach since the rest of humanity was wiped out in the Flood, as we learned in last week’s Parsha.  Our forefather Yaakov (also called Yisrael) and our Moshe Rabbeinu were Jewish leaders. The Jews are known as B’nai Yisrael - Israel’s children, and we are all descended from him (or have joined his children by conversion).  Moshe took us out of Egypt and brought us the Torah. He is to this day referred to as Moshe Rabbeinu, our teacher and leader.  Avraham has both distinctions. On one hand he is the founder of Judaism. He recognized Hashem in a time when the world was idolatrous, and Hashem made a special connection with him, promising the Land of Israel to his children and that his legacy would always continu...

Generation to Generation - Noach 5785

The opening verse of the Parsha of Noach says  “ The following are the descendants of Noach. Noach was a righteous man; faultless in his generations. Noach walked with Hashem. ”    Wait a second. I thought you were telling me about Noach’s descendants. You don’t expect the Torah to shift in the middle of a sentence. Only in the next verse, after the interruption, does it state: “ Noach was the father of three sons: Shem, Cham, and Yaphet.” Rashi comments on this. “‘ The following are the descendants of Noach – Noach was a righteous man ’ - Since the verse mentions him, it relates his praise, in accordance with what is written: ‘The mention of a right­eous person is for blessing.’  Another explanation why his descendants are not immediately mentioned: It teaches you that the main progeny of righteous people is their good deeds.” In 1984, the Rebbe commented that this teaches a very important lesson for children’s education.  A preface: While Rashi’s commentary is...